Anxiety and fear can often cause us to act in ways that move us away from who we aspire to be. These "away moves" can include avoiding, procrastinating, and withdrawing from the things that cause us stress or anxiety. Over time, these behaviors can become habits that keep us stuck in a negative loop.

Alternatively, "forward moves" can bring us closer to who we wish to become. They are values-driven. These values-driven actions may include speaking up in a high-stakes meeting, giving difficult feedback to your team, applying for your dream job, or starting a walking routine. By taking these types of actions, we move closer to the life we want to have.

Although "away moves" may provide us with immediate relief, they ultimately set us back from living a more meaningful life. We avoid pain and seek pleasure for the lure of immediate gratification. The away moves lead to a dopamine spike in our brain that causes us to remember the reward and seek it again as a solution to our pain, even if it is detrimental to our growth. We may avoid speaking our point of view or applying for our dream job because of fear of rejection. We don’t say what we really think to our team, and we resent them when they don’t meet our expectations. We keep hoping for the motivation to kick in to get started with our exercise routine, so we binge watch our favorite TV series instead. The away moves pile up and become the habit.

So often we resort to comparing our journey to others and then we quickly become disillusioned with our results, beat ourselves up for not being like or better than them, and eventually give up. The endless scrolling of curated pictures and videos of the perfect life further increases the comparison trap. Instead of comparing our change journey to someone else’s success story, we need to pivot our barometer of success to ourselves.

Each day is a new chance to move forward to your best version, not someone else’s best version.

· Compare yourself with yourself.

· How far have you come?

· How can you improve upon your improvements?

· What small steps can you take today to be the type of person you aspire to be?

Incremental steps yield the results we want. It’s in the actions that change happens.

It's essential to remember that experiencing discomfort is part of our shared humanity, that life is hard, and that discomfort is necessary to create and sustain change. Without a challenge there is no change. Change is also not linear and it’s often painful and messy and that’s normal. Ask yourself, which pain would you rather have? The pain of growth or the pain of feeling stuck in a job that’s not rewarding, a body we can’t recognize in the mirror, a team that’s not performing, or working so many hours we’re too exhausted to dedicate time for ourselves or other relationships?

We often have to remind ourselves that we have the potential and agency to achieve our goals. Despite what your inner critic is telling you to keep you in your comfort zone, you can create a different path. It’s a choice you can make. You can cultivate mental fitness skills like resilience, growth-mindset, self-compassion, cognitive reframing, focus, and confidence. You can make forward moves to the person you wish to become. Ultimately, it takes commitment to the change journey and process, fortifying your mental fitness, and taking values-driven actions towards the person you wish to become.

In our journey of change, we may need the help of others to achieve our goals. A coach can provide evidenced-based tools, help us co-create a process, and keep us accountable to help us achieve personal and/or professional growth. If you're interested in working with a coach to invest in your growth, contact Desiree Osorio Strong at desireestrong@talentstrongcoach.com or schedule a free consultation at https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=16946349&appointmentType=8657329.

Powerful Ways to Become Your Best Self