Seven Ways to Manage Workplace FOMO
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
We look at a post of a friend who’s basking in the sun on a sailboat in the Seychelles and instantly feel stressed that our lives don’t measure up, that we’re somehow missing out. That unsettling feeling we get is FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). FOMO taps into our psychological need to belong and connect with others. It alerts our brain that other people’s acceptance, connection, and relatedness are potentially threatened.
Workplace FOMO
Workplace FOMO
In today's fast-paced and competitive work environment, it's not uncommon for people to experience Workplace FOMO.
FOMO also shows up at work. When workplace FOMO takes over, we say yes to everything that comes our way out of fear of missing out on rewarding opportunities. We instantly check our messages and emails, don’t take breaks or days off, and sacrifice our sleep over work. We sign up for too many committees and new initiatives. We assume that if we say no, take breaks, or don’t immediately answer messages, others will think less of us, we won’t be offered future opportunities, and ultimately, we won’t be successful. The list of perceived catastrophic outcomes are endless.
FOMO gets us into the comparison game. We evaluate our self-worth based on whether we measure up to the success of others. We spend time wishing we could be like the “rockstar” employee, envying our peer’s success, or lamenting our own career paths. Over time, our mental well-being is negatively impacted by the nagging fear that we’re not as great as others or are somehow being excluded. We keep checking for the latest information, people we can network with, or projects we could be involved in. In the moment, we get an immediate dopamine hit and a feeling of relief after checking our countless notifications. Eventually, checking becomes habitual and robs us from living our lives with more purpose and meaning.
FOMO also affects decision-making. It drives us to make decisions based on scarcity and insecurities or what others think is best. Ultimately, it creates cycles of stress and anxiety that can lead to burnout, decreased well-being, and life satisfaction. If this path resonates with you and you wish to make changes, there are many methods you can implement to effectively manage workplace FOMO.
“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.”
Changing the way you think, feel, and behave starts with self-awareness. It’s also a process that takes time and practice. Here are some ways you can learn to manage workplace FOMO.
Seven Ways to Manage Workplace FOMO
Pick one of these methods and start with small, incremental steps to achieve your goal.
How to Manage Workplace FOMO:
Pick career goals that align with your values, interests, and strengths and lead you to your true north, not what others want or wish for you. Here’s a strength’s assessment that can help you get started or if you want to explore your reason for being, try discovering what your ikigai is.
Design your environment to reduce distractions. Identify what distracts you and set boundaries. Create a space conducive to work (lying in your bed or sofa is comfy but it’ll probably make you sleepy or tempt you to catch up on the next episode of Daredevil). Keep a distraction log near by and write down those brilliant ideas or issues that come up while you’re trying to focus on deep work. That way, your brain will stop interrupting you and you’ll have a trusted place to deposit the ideas/actions so you can review them after you’re done with the deep work.
Set boundaries around social apps, including work-related. Using apps as tools is a great idea, letting them use you as a tool is not so great. Think about the utility of each app. If workplace FOMO is consuming you, set a time limit, remove the apps from your device, use greyscale mode, place your phone far away, or make a list of things you can do instead of reaching for the phone that are just as dopamine rich. Another technique is to remember why you’re setting limits and who you’re aspiring to be.
Compare your progress to yourself, not others. When we routinely compare ourselves to others, we end up feeling like we don’t measure up. Over time, this feeds into beliefs of unworthiness and self-doubt. Rarely do people express the harsh realities that they’ve experienced on their journey to a promotion or career transition. Instead, we find out about their promotion or new job and wonder if what we’ve accomplished so far is not good enough. Instead of wishing we could be like others, we could use their stories as inspiration, but rely on measuring ourselves on what we have control over, ourselves. Look at where you were when you first started your journey. How far have you come? What are your learnings?
Set criteria for a yes and learn how to say no. So often I hear people tell me they don’t think they can say no and that they’re frightened they’ll be viewed as “lazy…not a team player…not ambitious enough” if they set limits on what they add to their lives. When you say yes to everything that comes your way, you say no to what really matters. Even in circumstances where your work is prescribed for you, you can always develop criteria for a yes and use “Yes, and…I need...” If you’re a people pleaser, set a rule that before you say yes, you will look at all of your commitments and see if this new thing is possible. You can always thank the person for considering you and say no, ask more questions about the task, ask for more time or resources, direct them to another person that can assist, or state you can give them a piece of what they need. The idea is to negotiate or push back when you’re adding things due to FOMO. If it’s your manager, align on what’s top priority and what can be postponed or eliminated from your plate.
Practice gratitude and self-compassion. Workplace FOMO has us believing we’re far worse off than what we really are. Our safety mode is on high alert and we subscribe to an all or nothing narrative. Instead, it’s substantially better to remember that today you’re alive, breathing, and have people, memories, and things you’re grateful for. Starting a gratitude journal habit can help you establish this way of thinking. Instead of listening to your inner critic, let the wise and compassionate voice guide you. Ask yourself, “What would I recommend to a really close friend/family member if they were in this same situation?” Self-compassion accepts the currently reality and pain, acknowledges that suffering is part of the human experience, and reminds us to be kind to ourselves when faced with difficult moments. It also lets us reframe old narratives we hold of ourselves so we can build more resilient and mindful versions. Here’s a mindfulness meditation that helps you become more self-compassionate.
Get really clear on the habits you want to create and eliminate from your life. Write them down. Use an implementation intention (e.g. I will run 5 miles Monday-Friday, after I drop off my daughter at swim practice) to reduce the friction of getting started.
Managing workplace FOMO may be a challenging journey, but working on it will lead to increased well-being and life satisfaction. Sometimes we need the partnership and accountability of a coach to guide us through the change. Working with a professional coach helps you deal more effectively with the challenges and helps you create the change you want in your life. Coaching meets you were you are and helps you reach your personal and professional goals with more self-awareness and confidence. Schedule a free consultation today.